When Writing Wedding Vows

Writing wedding vows may be the most important thing you write in your entire life. It’s important to give this particular activity a huge amount of thought, all the time you can afford, and as much honesty and sincerity as you have within you. After all, the vows you make for your future partner are – or at least should be – vows for life.

Take Your Time

One sit-down conversation with your fiancé or fiancée when writing wedding vows does not give either of you enough time to take into consideration all the things you both want to contribute to these very important lifelong verbal contracts.

Giving yourselves a least a year of many conversations with your vows in mind is more realistic. Writing them down as you converse on the subject will give you much to discuss. It’s always better to have more to pare down than too few or ones that are meaningless or trivial.

Things to Consider

Writing wedding vows should come straight from your heart. Although many people fall back on tradition with vows including “standard” words such as: “I (your name), take thee (partner’s name), to be my lawfully wedded …”, it appears apparent to many people that, like so many other words, if you same them – or hear them – often enough, they may lose all meaning.

Since, presumably, you want your vows to truly mean something, it makes sense to use your own words – those that come from your own well of positive feelings you’ve developed toward your intended life partner.

Once More … With Feeling

Although the purpose of writing wedding vows is to prepare yourself for that moment in front of God (if you believe!), your family, and your friends in which you will be expressing your happiest and most joyful feelings in your promises, you should take time to look at the matter with an in-depth seriousness.

Be honest and straightforward when writing wedding vows. If you do not intend to “love, honor, and obey,” do not vow to do so. It’s imperative you find words to express your feelings of commitment that are not just flowery or poetic, but that also communicate what you sincerely mean to do.

Are You Really Ready

Of course, in the end, writing wedding vows does not guarantee a successful and happy marriage. No matter how genuine you are in your efforts, statistics show that more than half of marriages end in divorce. What is even more important than promising to your partner – even in front of whatever higher power you believe and/or in the presence of your friends and family – is to actually stick to those vows. And this is far, far tougher than voicing promises.

So remember as you sit down with your beloved intended, writing wedding vows is serious business – even if the content is one of joy. But what’s more serious is when those vows may someday be tested. Are you sure you are ready for that? It’s something to consider, perhaps, before you ever write down that very first word.

See Also:

Catholic Wedding Vows